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Thread: Politically incorrect One-liners. DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED

  1. #1
    VIP-Member Johnsdutton's Avatar
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    Default Politically incorrect One-liners. DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED

    Sure fire way to get out of jury duty say "yes I will be delighted to attend. What’s the ******* done anyway?!!!"

    Such an unfair world. When a man talks dirty to a woman its considered sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man its $2.50/min (charges may vary).

    Got stopped in the street outside Boots today by a woman with a clipboard asking "What products do I use for grooming?" She was a bit taken aback when I replied, "Facebook".

    Just booked a table for Valentines Day for me and the wife. Bound to end in tears though- She's crap at snooker.

    Met a beautiful girl down at the park today. Sparks flew, she fell at my feet and we ended up having sex there and then. God, I love my new taser!

    Got a new Jack Russell pup today, he's mainly black and brown with just a small white area so I've called him Bradford.

    If you get an E mail telling you that you can catch Swine Flu from tins of ham then delete it. It’s Spam.

    They say that sex is the best form of exercise. Now correct me if I'm wrong but I don't think 2 minutes and 15 seconds every 3 months is going to shift this beer belly.

    I’ve just watched a documentary about children being beaten and abused in Indian sweatshops. Looking at the quality of stitching on my new trainers the little *******s deserved it!

    When I was a kid people used to cover me in chocolate and cream and put a cherry on my head. Yeah life was tough in the gateau.

    The local deli ran out of milk again due to the freezing weather, fortunately, my elderly neighbour Doreen has plenty stacked up on her doorstep.
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    http://www.freewebs.com/johnsdutton/

  2. #2
    Regular Member Derek Mc's Avatar
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    Magic really made me laugh with them

  3. #3
    VIP-Member Johnsdutton's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Derek Mc View Post


    Magic really made me laugh with them
    Kinda thought they would appeal to you Derek
    3.2 v6 Signum and loving it

    http://www.freewebs.com/johnsdutton/

  4. #4
    Full Member daddyjay's Avatar
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    nice..

  5. #5
    Regular Member mcpitman's Avatar
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    Pmsl

  6. #6
    Regular Member lee gsi's Avatar
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    So wrong but so funny

  7. #7
    Regular Member John Bishop's Avatar
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    Love em, funny as f**k

  8. #8
    Full Member GazVXLINE170's Avatar
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    Insignia VX-Line Nav CDTI 170.

  9. #9
    Regular Member ben_3.0v6's Avatar
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    ROFL!!! Awesome

  10. #10
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    That was too funny pmsl

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