"What is romantic?"
"I don't know."
"When a man strokes a woman tenderly with a feather."
"What is perverse?"
"I don't know."
"When the chicken is still attached."
There are problems in the woods. The animals of the forest are always drunk, so the fox decides to ban alcohol.
The following day, the fox spies a rabbit hanging out of a tree, clearly wasted. The fox ticks him off, and carries on his way.
But the next day he sees the rabbit drunk again, and gives him a final warning.
The next day, the fox does his rounds and there's no sign of the rabbit, but he notices a straw sticking out of a stream.
Wondering what it is, the fox scoops it out, only to find a very drunk rabbit on the other end of it. "How many times do I have to tell you that animals of the forest aren't allowed alcohol?" says the Fox.
"We fishes don't give a toss what the animals of the forest aren't allowed to do," says the rabbit
A man jumps out of a plane for the first time.
At 3,000m he tries to undo his parachute, but the cord fails.
At 2,000m he tries to open the emergency chute but that doesn't work either.
At 1,000m he bumps into a man wearing blue overalls, carrying a spanner.
"Can you repair parachutes?" asks the first man. "'Fraid not," says the other. "I only do boilers."
Three priests hold a meeting to discuss where life begins.
The evangelical priest says, "No question about it, life begins when the child is born."
"No, no," says the Catholic priest, "it all starts when the sperm meets the egg."
"You're both wrong," says the Rabbi. "Life begins when the children have left home and the dog is dead."