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Italian Cruise ship captain Francesco Schettino began his new job as a bus driver yesterday....

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# How do they serve alcoholic drinks on Italian cruise ships?** - On the rocks


#*What vegetables do you get with dinner on Italian cruise ships?* *- Leeks


# What's the fastest way to get off an Italian cruise ship?* *- *Follow the captain
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# When the captain of the ill fated Costa Concordia was asked if he knew where he was*going he replied "off course."
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# So the captain of the Costa Concordia will soon be in the dock.* *That's more than can be said for his ship.
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# The captain *says he is not guilty of manslaughter. ** He has witnesses to prove he was nowhere near the passengers who died.


# I like my women how I like my Italian Cruises.****Wet, wrecked and ready to go down.


# The Costa Concordia is probably the most expensive thing to go down in Italy since Berlusconi's last hooker.

# What's the difference between the Italian economy and the stricken cruise liner Costa Concordia?
***Nothing - The bottoms dropped out of both.
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