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Thread: one man and tesco

  1. #1
    Regular Member nicj's Avatar
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    Default one man and tesco

    Not sure how true this is but me and my childish sense of humour thought it was funny

    Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or boyfriend along shopping
    This letter was actually sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in Oxford :

    Dear Mrs. Murray,
    Whilst we would like to thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your......
    husband stops his antics.
    Below is a list of his actions over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras:

    1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking.
    2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
    3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine products aisle.
    4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares..... and watched what happened.
    5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
    6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calorgas stove.
    7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he began to cry and asked, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
    8.. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.
    9. October 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants were.
    10. November 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the Mission Impossible' theme.
    11.November 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the 'Madonna look' using different size funnels.
    12. November 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled' PICK ME!' 'PICK ME!'
    13. November 21: When an announcement came over the loudspeaker, assumed the foetal position and screamed 'NO! NO! It's those voices again.'
    And; last, but not least:
    14. November 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, 'There is no toilet paper in here

  2. #2
    Regular Member keith1983's Avatar
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    Ha ha ha, that is genius, I must admit that I can't imagine it to be true, but I want it to be! I'd like to see the video evidence!

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    haha funny

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    Haha that's good

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    Regular Member chewy71's Avatar
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    no. 14 ... brilliant!!!

  6. #6
    Regular Member nicj's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by keith1983 View Post
    Ha ha ha, that is genius, I must admit that I can't imagine it to be true, but I want it to be! I'd like to see the video evidence!

    +1 Don't think it's true but if it is i'm going to hunt him down to go shopping with him. The best man to ever take shopping is him

  7. #7
    Regular Member Ziggy's Avatar
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    lol very funny

  8. #8
    Regular Member keith1983's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nicj View Post
    +1 Don't think it's true but if it is i'm going to hunt him down to go shopping with him. The best man to ever take shopping is him

    If you take me shopping I'll take his list and see how many I can pull off before I get arrested.

  9. #9
    Regular Member nicj's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by keith1983 View Post
    If you take me shopping I'll take his list and see how many I can pull off before I get arrested.
    Come on then Keith lets go shopping

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    Quote Originally Posted by keith1983 View Post
    I must admit that I can't imagine it to be true
    Correct

    http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/spree.asp

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