Wife was in hospital after surgery to tighten up her ****** (4 kids, things had got a bit loose). I was there when she came round from the anaesthetic.
She saw the three red roses by her bedside."Who are they from?" she asked.
I told her, "The first is from me to say I love you and I'm looking forward to better s*x now that things are a bit tighter down there. The second is from the surgeon to thank you for being a model patient. And the third is from wee Eric in the Burns Ward to thank you for the new ears."