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Thread: Man vs womans perfect day

  1. #1
    Regular Member nicj's Avatar
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    Vehicle : Cdti150

    Trim : Sri


    Year : 06

    Default Man vs womans perfect day

    Perfect day for her

    8:15 Wake up to hugs and kisses

    8:30 Weigh-in 2kgs lighter than yesterday

    8:45 Breakfast in bed – freshly squeezed orange juice and croissants; open presents – expensive jewellery chosen by thoughtful partner

    9:15 Soothing hot bath with frangipani bath oil

    10:00 Light work-out at club with sexy, amusing personal trainer

    10:30 Facial, manicure, makeup application, shampoo, condition, blow wave

    12:00 Lunch with best friend at fashionable outdoor café

    12:45 Catch sight of partner's ex and notice that she has gained 17kgs

    1:00 Shopping with friends: unlimited credit

    3:00 Nap

    4:15 Massage from strong but gentle hunk – says he rarely gets to work on such a perfect body

    5:30 Choose outfit from expensive designer wardrobe

    7:30 Candlelit dinner for two followed by dancing, with compliments received from other diners/dancers

    10:00 Hot shower – alone

    10:50 Carried to bed. Freshly ironed, crisp white linen

    11:00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling

    11:15 Fall asleep in his big, strong arms

    Perfect day for him

    6:00 Alarm

    6:15 Blow job

    6:30 Massive, satisfying crap while reading the sports section

    7:00 Breakfast – steak and eggs, coffee and toast – all cooked by naked, buxom wench who bends over a lot showing her growler

    7:30 Limo arrives

    7:45 Several beers en route to the airport

    9:15 Flight in personal Lear jet

    9:30 Limo to Mirage Resort Golf Club (blow job en-route)

    9:45 Play front nine (2 under par)

    11:45 Lunch-steak and lobster, three beers and bottle of Dom Perignon

    12:15 Blow job

    12:30 Play back nine (4 under)

    2:15 Limo back to airport (several bourbons)

    2:30 Fly to Bahamas

    3:30 Late afternoon fishing expedition with all-female crew, all nude who also bend over a lot showing their growlers

    4:30 Land world record Marlin (1234lbs) – on light tackle

    5:00 Fly home, massage and hand job by naked Elle MacPherson (bending over showing her growler, naturally)

    6:45 Crap, shower and shave

    7:00 Watch news – Michael Jackson assassinated

    7:30 Dinner – lobster appetisers, Dom Perignon (1953), big juicy fillet steak followed by ice cream served on a big pair of tits

    9:00 Napoleon Brandy and Habanos cigars in front of wall-sized TV as you watch football game

    9:30 Sex with three women, all with lesbian tendencies

    11:00 Massage and Jacuzzi with tasty pizza snacks and a cleansing beer

    11:30 Night-cap blow job

    11:45 In bed alone

    11:50 A 22-second fart which changes note four times and forces the dog to leave the room

    11:51 Laugh yourself to sleep


  2. #2
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    Default

    very funny and to some extent very true! laughed out loud alot

  3. #3
    Regular Member wardy23's Avatar
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    Vehicle : vectra

    Trim : sri

    Engine : 2.2

    Year : 2005

    Mileage : 64000

    Default

    lmao

  4. #4
    Ex Vec-C Admin Ian-Highlander's Avatar
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    Vehicle : Insignia Tourer

    Trim : Elite

    Engine : 2.0 CDTI (160ps)

    Year : 2010

    Default

    Nah, the perfect day for him is nothing like right...







    I mean, two craps in one day? honestly?
    "Doing a good job here is like wetting your pants in a dark suit, you get a warm feeling but nobody else notices"
    Maptun Tuned 2.0T Estate - click HERE for mods list.
    Brentwood 2012: Winner, Saturday Show. Hull 2012: Winner, Best Estate. Hull 2013: Winner, Best Estate & Runner Up, Best I.C.E

    Now Gone, bring on the Insignia (now "Teapot" Tuned)...

  5. #5
    Regular Member aps's Avatar
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    Vehicle : Vectra C Sri CDti 150 (satnav)

    Trim : Sri

    Engine : 1.9cdti

    Year : 07

    Default

    Fantastic .... hilarious

  6. #6
    Regular Member ben_3.0v6's Avatar
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    Im pretty sure theres a morning blow job missing in that?


    Oh no.........

    9:30 Limo to Mirage Resort Golf Club (blow job en-route)


    Its there!!!

  7. #7
    Full Member bobssignum's Avatar
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    Vehicle : Signum 2.0 DTi

    Trim : Elegance/Elite

    Engine : 2.0DTi

    Year : 2003

    Mileage : 73350

    Default

    Brilliant
    Driving vauxhall,s for 30 + years
    and still loving it

  8. #8
    Regular Member nicj's Avatar
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    Vehicle : Cdti150

    Trim : Sri


    Year : 06

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ben_3.0v6 View Post
    Im pretty sure theres a morning blow job missing in that?


    Oh no.........

    9:30 Limo to Mirage Resort Golf Club (blow job en-route)


    Its there!!!
    Is that wishful thinking or you just mega lucky? Ha ha

  9. #9
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    4 bj's in a day sounds a bit much for me, at my age id settle for 3.

  10. #10
    Regular Member Toe-side's Avatar
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    The 22 second fart was the final straw............... excellent.

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