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Thread: Grandparents who ignore parents wishes

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    Default Grandparents who ignore parents wishes

    How many peeps have had run ins with parents/in laws regarding ignoring what you have told them not to do with or give your children??

    I know grandparents spoil kids etc but when they tell the children not to tell mummy or daddy i think that is way over line.

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    Full Member Big Sig's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tommytonguedj View Post
    How many peeps have had run ins with parents/in laws regarding ignoring what you have told them not to do with or give your children??

    I know grandparents spoil kids etc but when they tell the children not to tell mummy or daddy i think that is way over line.
    Although if your kids did tell you then its clear they are not prone to lying or you would never find out
    Now I need a turbo to keep up!

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    Why would grandparents do such a thing that's awful
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    possibly taking it out of context,i allways say to my 3 year old don't tell mummy,he understands i'm being daft so he tells her so she can kid me about it with him. all fun and games

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    Depends what it is really.

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    lol ye we only find out about it when someone slips up then people start stuttering trying to think of stories i would'nt mind but he's nearly 12 so surely they must'nt think he's a good liar at this age it happens all the time there is only so many times i can hear the word sorry they may aswell just get it tattood on their belly and pull their t shirt up haha

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    While I agree generally G-p's shouldn't allow the kids to do things they know the parent wouldn't approve of, or tell them to lie, it depends what about.
    I once plaayed football with my grandson in his mum's front room, knocked her main lampshade off. I checked it was undamaged, put it back and said "shh, don't tell mummy". Of course, he did lol.
    On the other side, when I was a boy my parents and grandparents both had caravans on the South coast (Selsey Bill). My parents refused to allow me on the roads on my bicycle. My grandmother would walk with me up ti the shops and back and let me ride it. One of them was a bit OTT where I was concerned as I'd been very ill as a baby.

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    Never really had a problem with this. I trust my parents judgements and know they wouldnt let my 3 boys do anything that I wouldn't let them do. No doubt they have told me little white lies saying they haven't had sweets when they have.
    Not sure what it is the grandparents have allowed the children to do/have which are against your wishes but maybe a chat with them about how you feel might help

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    my mother ( grandma) used to be a teacher but likes to keep a nice home , so my kids are taught / told by her in a structured rule way ,,,,,,,,,,,,, e.g. = meals in kitchen , NO food in living room , toys etc to be put away when finished and BEFORE you get new ones out ,

    Now her husband ( grandad ) is the opposite ,

    and he lets the kids eat in the living room and when the kids leave ,

    there is a bomb site of toys left in the house .

    i think time spent with grand parents is a more relaxed time , with less rules .

    I call it " Good time grandad or good time grandma " ,

    because , when they are with the grand parents they are good because the rules are relaxed and they are having unrestricted fun ,

    but when returned home this loosness of rules , can make them devils when they return .

    And getting the kids back in line , can end up with tears .

    on BOTH sides = l.o.l.

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    Ive had an experience of this.

    When my wee one was 3months we visited my parents in belfast. Now we hadnt started her on solids she was purely being breastfed as this is what we had wanted.
    Everyone was telling us to start her on solids but as her parents we felt she wasnt ready. Everyone was clear on this as we kept telling them.
    Anyways we left her with my mother who i completley trust (and still do)
    Now out purely good intentions my mum went and fed her a jar of baby food which the wee one apparently loved.
    We were none the wiser except the missus seen the jar in the bin!
    Big problem we both felt betrayed and decieved and as silly as it sounds it was our decision to make.
    Anyways had it out with my mum and told her the bottom line was that she was our daughter and it was our mistakes to make. The annoying thing was that we felt she had tried to hide it. Now i know my mum was doing things purely out of innocence and there was no sneakiness about it and i explained all this and an apology, kiss and a cuddle later we were all good.

    Anyways the point im trying to make is my mother was only trying to use her experience to help my daughter along.

    But sometimes grand parents over step the mark and need to realise the parents have to make mistakes to learn from them. I believe 99.9% of all grandparents when they go against a parent they do it with the best of intentions never meaning any harm

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