Random giggles

[nicj]

My wife just found out she's adopted. She's devastated, & kept asking "Why didnt they want me?" I comforted her and after a while, still crying, she asked me 2 make love 2 her, which led to more tears.On reflection, banging her whilst shouting "WHO'S YOUR DADDY?!" was a little insensitive.


I saw this Dutch bloke walking the other day looking lost, so I stopped and asked him if he needed directions? He said no I've got 'sat-nav' built into my shoes! I carried on walking and thought 'bliddy clever clogs'


I was standing in a nightclub last night, when some bloke approached me.
He said, "Are you looking at my bird?"
"I certainly am," I smiled. "She's got a fantastic arse."
He said, "You wanna smack?"
I said, "Yeah go on then, will she mind?"


I was feeling horny so I phoned the missus for a bit of phone sex.
As she answered I said, "Tell me you're not wearing any knickers."
She said, "I actually am not wearing any knickers."
I replied, "Oh yeah baby, tell me what you're doing...you naughty girl."
She replied,
"I'm having a s*it!

[paul.sessions]

Lol