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Thread: Quickies

  1. #1
    Full Member bobssignum's Avatar
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    Default Quickies

    I called 911 and said, "I think my wife is dead."  The operator asked, "How do you know?"  I said, "The sex is the same, but the ironing is building up."



    I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the biggest ***** she had ever laid her hands on.  I said, "You're pulling my leg."

      

    My girlfriend thinks I'm a stalker.  Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet.

      

    I went for my routine check up today and everything seemed to be going fine until the doctor stuck his index finger up my rear end.  Do you think I should change dentists?

      

    My wife said, "You're always pushing me around and talking behind my back."  I said, "What do you expect?  You're in a wheel chair!"

      

    I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated, but you must come back as a different creature.  She said, "I would like to come back as a cow." I said, "You're obviously not listening." 

      

    My  wife has been missing for a week now. The police said to prepare for the worst. So I went to the thrift shop to get all her clothes back.

     
    Driving vauxhall,s for 30 + years
    and still loving it

  2. #2
    Full Member bobssignum's Avatar
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    Default

    Doh !
    whats up with vec-c has everyone lost there sense of humour.
    Driving vauxhall,s for 30 + years
    and still loving it

  3. #3
    Regular Member C-Owner's Avatar
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    Default

    :O)

  4. #4
    Regular Member Wolflinn's Avatar
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    Default

    I always enjoy a quickie

  5. #5
    Regular Member Happy Girl's Avatar
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    Default

    Just seen them...... Put a smile on my face.

  6. #6
    Regular Member graham a's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bobssignum View Post
    Doh !
    whats up with vec-c has everyone lost there sense of humour.
    not lost my sense of humour bob,in fact i have just bought a insignia .good jokes btw

  7. #7
    North West Regional Organiser paulvectrac's Avatar
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    Vehicle : vectra

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    Year : 2007

    Default

    Ha brilliant
    Vectra vxr custome remaps egr deletes dpf and diagnostic work all remaps are custome bench tuning avalible all genuine equipment PM for info

  8. #8
    Regular Member insignia28's Avatar
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Wolflinn View Post
    I always enjoy a quickie

  9. #9
    Regular Member HITFACTORY1403's Avatar
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    Default

    l.o.l.

  10. #10
    Regular Member chewy71's Avatar
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    Default

    I like the Jimmy Carr style one liners....

    It's been that long since my brother has had a blow j-b that he's forgotten what they taste like

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