Five parrots

[bobssignum]

Jan, Sue and Mary haven't seen each other since leaving School. They
rediscover each other via a reunion website and arrange to meet for
lunch in a wine bar.

Jan arrives first, wearing a beige Versace dress. She orders a bottle of
Pinot Grigio. Sue arrives shortly afterward, wearing a grey Chanel
number. After the initial hugs and kisses she joins Jan in a glass of
wine. Then Mary walks in, wearing a faded old tee-shirt, blue jeans and
boots. She too shares the wine.

Jan explains that after leaving school and attending Oxford University,
she met and married Timothy, with whom she has a beautiful daughter.
Timothy is a partner in one of London's leading law firms.
They live in a 4000 sq ft apartment on Park Lane, where Susanna, the
daughter, attends drama school. They have a second home in Portugal.

Sue relates that she graduated from Cambridge University, studied to
become a doctor and became a surgeon. Her husband, Clive, is a leading
financial investment banker in the City. They live in the Surrey
stockbroker belt and have a second home in Italy.

Mary explains that after she left school at 17 she ran off with her
boyfriend Mark. They run a tropical bird park in Essex and grow their
own vegetables. Mark can stand five parrots, side by side, on his erect
*****.

Halfway down the third bottle of wine and several hours later, Jan
blurts out that her husband is really a cashier at Tesco's. They live in
a small apartment in Bromley and have a caravan parked on the front
drive.

Sue, chastened and encouraged by her old friend's honesty, explains that
she and Clive are both nursing care assistants in an old peoples home.
They live in Peckham and take camping holidays in Kent.

Mary admits that the fifth parrot has to stand on one leg.

[northern lad]