User Tag List

Thanks Thanks:  0
Likes Likes:  0
Results 1 to 8 of 8

Thread: Stuck On The Island

  1. #1
    VIP-Member Johnsdutton's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    East Kilbride
    Post Thanks / Like
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    StatsVehicle Info
    Post Thanks / Like
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default Stuck On The Island

    An ambitious yuppie finally decided to take a vacation. He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life... until the boat sank! The man found himself swept up on the shore of an island with no other people, no supplies... Nothing. Only bananas and coconuts.

    After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to him. In disbelief he asks her: "Where did you come from? How did you get here?"

    "I rowed from the other side of the island," she says. "I landed here when my cruise ship sank."

    "Amazing," he says. "You were really lucky to have a rowboat wash up with you."

    "Oh, this?" replies the woman. "I made the rowboat out of raw material that I found on the island; the oars were whittled from gum tree branches; I wove the bottom from palm branches; and the sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree."

    "But-but, that's impossible," stutters the man. "You had no tools or hardware. How did you manage?"

    "Oh, that was no problem," replies the woman. "On the south side of the island, there is a very unusual strata of alluvial rock exposed. I found that if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgeable ductile iron. I used that for tools and used the tools to make the hardware.

    The guy is stunned.

    "Let's row over to my place, " she says.

    After a few minutes of rowing, she docks the boat at a small wharf. As the man looks onto shore, he nearly falls out of the boat. Before him is a stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white. While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man can only stare ahead, dumb-struck.

    As they walk into the house, her beautiful breasts bouncing with each step, she says casually, "It's not much, but I call it home. Sit down please; would you like to have a drink?"

    "No thank you," he says, still dazed. "Can't take any more coconut juice."

    "It's not coconut juice," the woman replies. "I have a still. How about a Pina Colada?"

    Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit down on her couch to talk.

    After they have exchanged their stories, the woman announces, "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave? There is a razor upstairs in the cabinet in the bathroom."

    No longer questioning anything, the man goes into the bathroom. There, in the cabinet, is a razor made from a bone handle. Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened onto its end, inside of a swivel mechanism. "This woman is amazing," he muses.

    "What next?"

    When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but vines and a shell necklace-strategically positioned-and smelling faintly of gardenias.

    She beckons for him to sit down next to her.

    "Tell me," she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him, "we've been out here for a very long time. You've been lonely. I've been lonely. There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right about now, something you've been longing for all these months? You know... " She stares into his eyes.

    He can't believe what he's hearing. His heart begins to pound. He's truly in luck: "You mean...", he gasps, "...I can actually check Vectra-c.com from here??"


    3.2 v6 Signum and loving it

    http://www.freewebs.com/johnsdutton/

  2. #2
    North West Regional Organiser paulvectrac's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    morecambe
    Post Thanks / Like
    Mentioned
    23 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    StatsVehicle Info
    Post Thanks / Like
    Mentioned
    23 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    lost intest about 10 lines in
    Vectra vxr custome remaps egr deletes dpf and diagnostic work all remaps are custome bench tuning avalible all genuine equipment PM for info

  3. #3
    VIP-Member Johnsdutton's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    East Kilbride
    Post Thanks / Like
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    StatsVehicle Info
    Post Thanks / Like
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Aw come I tried my best.
    3.2 v6 Signum and loving it

    http://www.freewebs.com/johnsdutton/

  4. #4
    Regular Member Derek Mc's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Sodding Typical on Sea
    Post Thanks / Like
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    StatsVehicle Info
    Post Thanks / Like
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Totally got me John,,, loved it

  5. #5
    VIP-Member Johnsdutton's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    East Kilbride
    Post Thanks / Like
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    StatsVehicle Info
    Post Thanks / Like
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Derek Mc View Post
    Totally got me John,,, loved it

    Guess some people do not have a long attention span
    3.2 v6 Signum and loving it

    http://www.freewebs.com/johnsdutton/

  6. #6
    Forum Moderator FIL 4822's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    On a French Carp lake somewhere x
    Post Thanks / Like
    Mentioned
    6 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    StatsVehicle Info
    Post Thanks / Like
    Mentioned
    6 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    And here's me thinking he was going to s**g her !


    Have consideration for the deaf, if you're gunna fart, make it smell !


  7. #7
    spoons
    Guest

    Default

    I got stuck at "her beautiful breasts bouncing with each step"

    Dont know what happens after that

  8. #8
    Regular Member chewy71's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Location
    Lincolnshire
    Post Thanks / Like
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    StatsVehicle Info
    Post Thanks / Like
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    does that sum up the men on here?... if so I'M LEAVING!

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. Stuck on the Island
    By Derek Mc in forum Gen Photography
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 17th October 2012, 17:00
  2. Dead island PS3
    By johnnyboy1985 in forum Games Room
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 28th December 2011, 13:42
  3. Stuck On The Island
    By Johnsdutton in forum Comedy & Humour
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 30th July 2011, 20:24
  4. Swirl Flap Stuck or Not Stuck ??
    By nibblitz in forum Vectra C / Signum Car Chat
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 3rd November 2010, 17:57
  5. buying a car from northern island
    By The Gas Man in forum Vectra C / Signum Car Chat
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 11th May 2010, 22:23

Visitors found this page by searching for:

Nobody landed on this page from a search engine, yet!

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •