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Thread: classic insurance claims

  1. #1
    Regular Member yorkshireborn's Avatar
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    Vehicle : saab 95


    Engine : 2.3t

    Year : 2006

    Default classic insurance claims

    The pedestrian ran for the pavement, but I got him.

    I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.

    A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

    I saw her look at me twice. She appeared to be making slow progress when we met on impact.

    A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.

    The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention.
    My car was legally parked as it backed into another vehicle.

    When I saw I could not avoid a collision I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car.

    The accident occurred when I was attempting to bring my car out of a skid by steering it into the other vehicle.

    I was backing my car out of the driveway in the usual manner, when it was struck by the other car in the same place it had been struck several times before.

    I was unable to stop in time and my car crashed into the other vehicle. The driver and passengers then left immediately for a vacation with injuries.

    The gentleman behind me struck me on the backside. He then went to rest in a bush with just his rear end showing.

    The car in front of me stopped for a yellow light, so I had no choice but to hit him. (She pushed him through the intersection)

    I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat found that I had a fractured skull.

    I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it.

    As I approached an intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.

    In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

    I saw two kangaroos having it off in the middle of the road. So I hit them, which caused me to ejaculate through the sunroof.

    The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of the way when I struck the front end.

    No one was to blame for the accident but it would never have happened if the other driver had been alert.

    I didn't think the speed limit applied after midnight.

    I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.

    The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.

    I was on the way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.

    The accident was caused by me waving to the man I hit last week.
    Windshield broke. Cause unknown. Probably Voodoo.

    No witnesses would admit having seen the mishap until after it happened.

    I had been learning to drive with power steering. I turned the wheel to what I thought was enough and found myself in a different direction going the opposite way.

    The accident happened when the right front door of a car came round the corner without giving a signal.

    I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.

    I left for work this morning at 7am as usual when I collided straight into a bus. The bus was 5 minutes early.

    An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.

    I knew the dog was possessive about the car but I would not have asked her to drive it if I had thought there was any risk.

    The accident happened because I had one eye on the truck in front, one eye on the pedestrian, and the other on the car behind.

    I started to turn and it was at this point I noticed a camel and an elephant tethered at the verge. This distraction caused me to lose concentration and hit a bollard.
    Last edited by yorkshireborn; 19th October 2006 at 21:43.

  2. #2
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    "I saw two kangaroos having it off in the middle of the road. So I hit them, which caused me to ejaculate through the sunroof. "...............

    Doesn't bear thinking about!!!!

    Excellent!!

  3. #3
    Regular Member Harry's Avatar
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    that's the same one that got me Louise!! PMSL!

  4. #4
    [Ex]Admin Duncan's Avatar
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    "I came round a corner to find a stationery line of traffic due to an accident blocking the road further ahead. The last car in the line was a Porsche, so I thought "Right you flash git, I'm gonna have you!!""

    Is that good enought to go on the list? (probably not as the wording on the claim may have been slightly different! )

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Duncan
    "I came round a corner to find a stationery line of traffic due to an accident blocking the road further ahead. The last car in the line was a Porsche, so I thought "Right you flash git, I'm gonna have you!!""

    Is that good enought to go on the list? (probably not as the wording on the claim may have been slightly different! )
    I was reading this and i thought to myself i have heard this before, what kind of idiot would put that on a claim form

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