This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for 40 years.
The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting
loudly every morning when he woke. The noise would wake his wife and the
smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Every morning she
would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her
sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She
told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his
guts out. The years went by and he continued to rip them out!. Then one
Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was
upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey
innards and neck,gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious
thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband
was sound asleep and gently pulling back the bed covers she pulled back the
elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into
his shorts. Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual
trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of
frantic footsteps as he ran to the bathroom. The wife could hardly control
herself as she rolled on the floor laughing; tears in her eyes. After years
of torture she reckoned she had got her own back. About twenty minutes
later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a
look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the
matter. He said, 'Honey, you were right. All those years you warned me and I
didn't listen to you.' 'What do you mean?' asked his wife. 'Well, you always
told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out and today it finally
happened. But......by the grace of God, some Vaseline and these two fingers,
I think I got most of them back in.'
Bookmarks