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Thread: Need Some Advise

  1. #1
    Full Member spennny's Avatar
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    Default Need Some Advise

    I have a child in scotland that i have been paying for since he was born, his mum is a bit of a pratt, and we ended rather abruptly

    Now she has decided since i got married ( and i didnt tell her i was married ) that the amount of money i have been sending her isnt enough, and on Saturday i have received a maintenance pack from the CSA

    They want me to pay £200 per month, which is slightly more than what i was paying, but he always done well on birthdays and christmases from me ,

    Do i have any options, anyone in the same boat

    I have all receipt numbers and dates on file when and how much i have paid into her bank, however the letter states there only interested in the date they contacted me

    So what do i do , any advice is appreciated

  2. #2
    Regular Member bunsen1's Avatar
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    explain to her that if she is on any benefit the amount you pay her through csa gets deducted as income, she is better off with a personal arrangement, also when you pay through csa out of that 200 she probably wont get it all as some goes towards paying for other kids who dad does not pay so i was told, my friend used to pay somethinbg like £160 a month and his ex was getting about £110, crazy, if it still works that way its unjust, you really need to keep them out of it and get her to tell them not to bother

  3. #3
    Full Member spennny's Avatar
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    I have tried all that mate, even upped it slightly for her, but she is having none of it at all, i have txt from her tellin me not to give her anything since she found out i got married, she has dropped all contact to him and switched his mobile off, i have been sending txt after txt asking her to reconsider but she just isnt playing ball anymore

    Am at my wits end what to do as surely this cant be right if i have been paying money to her, she has been claiming previously , goes more freaking holidays than me ,

    Dunno what to do

    Quote Originally Posted by bunsen1 View Post
    explain to her that if she is on any benefit the amount you pay her through csa gets deducted as income, she is better off with a personal arrangement, also when you pay through csa out of that 200 she probably wont get it all as some goes towards paying for other kids who dad does not pay so i was told, my friend used to pay somethinbg like £160 a month and his ex was getting about £110, crazy, if it still works that way its unjust, you really need to keep them out of it and get her to tell them not to bother

  4. #4
    Regular Member leonvectrac's Avatar
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    Iam currently going through the same thing and basicly the csa have us dads by the danglies, by that i mean what they say goes. Thats what i have found with my recent dealings with them.

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    Regular Member bunsen1's Avatar
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    sorry to hear that mate, just make sure when you do get to speak to him that you make it clear that you will never stop trying to see him, if he knows she is stopping you seeing him it will work against her, if he is old enough to get that, hope it works out for you mate, chin up

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    if you pay what the CSA advise you to pay then go with this , then she cant stop any comms wi you an the wee one .
    sounds like sour grapes but keep an eye on if she gets a new partner this might change things .
    HAIL HAIL

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    Full Member spennny's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bunsen1 View Post
    sorry to hear that mate, just make sure when you do get to speak to him that you make it clear that you will never stop trying to see him, if he knows she is stopping you seeing him it will work against her, if he is old enough to get that, hope it works out for you mate, chin up
    Its ludicris mate honestly !!

    Strangely enough i have told her i am going for visitation rights and will be wanting him here with me over the weekends............ she just called me and told me he wont stay......... i told her if he says that in court then thats fine

    Quote Originally Posted by gsxrster View Post
    if you pay what the CSA advise you to pay then go with this , then she cant stop any comms wi you an the wee one .
    sounds like sour grapes but keep an eye on if she gets a new partner this might change things .
    HAIL HAIL
    She does have a new fella....... infact she has had a few

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    Regular Member bunsen1's Avatar
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    make sure they know she has a fella, especially if he is living there as im sure his income plays a small part to the household income and needs1

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    Regular Member lee gsi's Avatar
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    Default

    She cant cut off contact just because she feels like it.

    Phone the CSA up and explain everything as they are really helpful.

    You will probably still have to pay the money but you will then have the rights to see your child if thats what you and the child wants.

  10. #10
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    £200 a month seems fairly low to me , I have known people to pay alot more.
    Having the child with her full time means she holds all the cards in terms of how he feels about you (at least until he/she gets older)
    Sorry m8, but if you can afford it I would play ball for now.
    If you can not afford it I would keep challenging the amount monthly with the CSA.

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