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Thread: Some more oldies

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    Regular Member MalcGSI's Avatar
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    Default Some more oldies

    A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. When I quizzed him on it he reckoned he could stop any time.....

    I had a mate who was suicidal. He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a train. He was chuffed to bits.

    I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave. As I was standing there I noticed 4 grave diggers walking about with a coffin, 3 hours later and they're still walking about with it. I thought to myself, they've lost the plot!!

    I was at a cash-point yesterday when a little old lady asked if I could check her balance, so I pushed her over.

    A new Middle East crisis erupted last night as Dubai Television was refused permission to broadcast 'The Flintstones'. A spokesman for the channel said. “A claim was made that people in Dubai would not understand the humour, but we know for a fact that people in Abu Dhabi Do.”

    My daughter asked me for a pet spider for her birthday, so I went to our local pet shop and they were £70!!! “Sod that” I thought, “I can get one cheaper off the web”

    Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy.

    Just heard there was an explosion at a pie factory in Huddersfield. 3.1415927 dead

    Went around to a friend’s house today. His wife was sat there with their newborn baby. She asked if I’d like to wind it. I thought that was a bit harsh so I gave it a dead leg instead.

    Saw my mate outside the Doctor's today looking really worried. "What's the matter?" I asked.
    "I've got the big C,"he said.
    "What, cancer?"
    "No, dyslexia."

    I start a new job in Seoul next week. I thought it was a good Korea move.

    I was driving this morning when I saw an RAC van parked up. The driver was sobbing uncontrollably and looked very miserable. I thought to myself ‘that guy’s heading for a breakdown’.

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    Regular Member nibblitz's Avatar
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    Default

    Tim Vine, he's soooo funny, a comedy genuis...

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    Regular Member badback's Avatar
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    Thanks for making me laugh.

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    Regular Member simplesi's Avatar
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    Default

    Quality

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    Default

    Statistically 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang bangs!

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