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Originally Posted by Fruit'n'nut
i'm on my daughters birth certificate but as me and the mrs arent married i have no legal rights until we are married to consent to anything for the daughter, we are marrying in september 2011, at which point we need to go to the registry office and change her birth certificate
CSA is only about maintenance, when I went through it, years ago, my wife ran off with the children and a convicted child molester, I said I'd pay CSA the maintennnnnance if they could prove the children were still alive - they came back not their problem living or dead, their job was to ensure I paid.
If OP is working shifts, Court defined access may not help, once set you HAVE to keep to the set days and times, no excuses.
Not sure on the DNA, even if the mum admits OP is parent, can he not get legal rights as father by proving parenthood? Certainly sounds wrong that she wants the support cash but won't allow proper access. Get some legal advice, certainly.
As already suggested bank the money, Tell her to go to the csa and do it properly,At the minute you have no rights but if its all done properly through the csa you can prove you are the father and supporting your daughter then you can file for visitation rights
Btw at the minute you have no proof you are supporting your child and she can claim you have never paid a penny - please tell me you paid her by cheque
NEVER EVER EVER EVER GIVE CASH!!!
Even if she says she needs money asap for something for your daughter, say you dont have cash on you and go to the bank and transfer it into her account from yours.
Make EVERYTHING traceable, just in case.
Always a cheque or standing order into HER bank account in HER name.
Sorry to be blunt, but believe me you'll be glad you followed these instructions if things ever get extra messy.
CSA will take 15% of your 'net' (take home) pay, so if you take home £300 p/w, that's £45 p/w.
My ex told CSA I'd never paid a penny, all I had to do was send them bank statements and that was sorted.
As for the rest of it, I won't comment as each case is very different so wouldn't want to give you info or advice that may not be correct in your situation.
Best thing to do is speak to a solicitor asap.
But sorry to scare you, you could easily be looking at thousands, mine cost me £6000!! And if the slut carries on the bill could increase further.
All the best mate, hope things work out, and remember,
HOLD YOUR HEAD UP HIGH! BE PROUD OF WHAT YOU'RE DOING! YOUR DAUGHTER WILL RESPECT YOU MASSIVELY FOR THE FIGHT YOU PUT UP WHEN SHE GETS OLDER!
WoW thats some problem youve got. Im with the rest, stop paying the money now. Let her go to the CSA. BTW if you think taking it to court to get access will help, your mistaken. Mate of mine did this, all sorted out in court and still she refused him access and there was nothing the court could or would do. Definitely go to Citizens Advice too and see how you go about getting your name on that Birth Certificate, its the best thing you can do, it protects you and your daughter if nothing else, if her mum clears out back to Poland you may well never see your daughter again.
Ok first question why are you not on the birth cert? If you were you would automatically have parental rights. (I had to apply for this through the courts as my daughter and son were born before 1st Dec 2003)
First thing you should do is get your name on the birth cert. This way you have a say in your childs life without it she could put the child up for adoption and legally you would have no right to oppose this. So my advice would be to get your name on the birth cert then you automatically get rights to your child.
Secondly DO NOT STOP the payments. The CSA and courts take a very dim view to fathers that stop paying support for a child they do not see. Unfair I know but again legally you are obliged to support your child regardless of whether you see them or not. If you pay cash get her to sign a receipt if she refuses do a bank transfer or standing order but make sure you have some proof.
Now the good news...I took my ex to court 4 times for various things regarding my daughter. (My other ex with my son was a lot easier to deal with) You DO NOT need a solicitor. If you are prepared to put the time in get a book from the libary or online and read through you need Family Law Act 1996 http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1996/27/contents
Workout what you want from the agreements by the sound of it you want visitation rights? So I would suggest you write a letter to your ex detailing the times you want to visit, also that you require CONTINUED (and makesure you do put continued)maintenance payments to be made via cheque/bank transfer. Post this RECORDED delivery and keep a copy with the ref/code and date.
Apply to the court for a responsability order if she will not put you on the birth cert. This site will give you some more info http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Parents/...hts/DG_4002954
Keep a log of when you see your child, if you buy anything for them. Its a horrible way of looking at it but you are building a case for getting control of your child which as a father you bl00dy well deserve!
Then apply for a Visitation Order which you will have to apply in person again I did this without a solicitor.
Honestly mate you do not need legal representation I have done this twice now for both kids and if you can understand the law and read through it and know exactly what you want you will get want you want.
The hardest part of it all is remaining calm and keeping your emotions under control. Its a long heart breaking process but I'm saying this from bitter experience every day of pain is worth every second of spending time with your kids and seeing them smile and laugh.
If you get stuck or need any help drop me an email ;-)
Thanks, great advice. I'm gonna PM you if thats ok. It will be later, bit strapped for time at the min.
Yeah sure no probs
incorrect, we have just applied for my little ones passport, and because me and the mrs aint married, it clearly says on passport application that if parents of child are unmarried the father has no legal ability to fill out the form, even if named on birth certificate, this is the same for tax credits and child benefit as well
No its not incorrect If your child was born AFTER Dec 2003 you automatically get Parental Responsibility Agreement (PRA) if you were NOT married,if like my 2 children are they were born BEFORE 2003 you have to apply if you were not married to their mother. If your child was born after 2003 you have as much right as the mother and can legally apply and sign for a passport just as I did this summer for my 8 year old son without needing his mothers input becuase we have agreed a PRA. The statement below is taken from the direct.gov website and the link is included in the original post i wrote
Who has parental responsibility?
A mother automatically has parental responsibility for her child from birth. However, the conditions for fathers gaining parental responsibility varies throughout the UK.
For births registered in England and Wales
In England and Wales, if the parents of a child are married to each other at the time of the birth, or if they have jointly adopted a child, then they both have parental responsibility. Parents do not lose parental responsibility if they divorce, and this applies to both the resident and the non-resident parent.
This is not automatically the case for unmarried parents. According to current law, a mother always has parental responsibility for her child. A father, however, has this responsibility only if he is married to the mother when the child is born or has acquired legal responsibility for his child through one of these three routes:
- (from 1 December 2003) by jointly registering the birth of the child with the mother
- by a parental responsibility agreement with the mother
- by a parental responsibility order, made by a court
For anyone interested in this here is a link to the HMCS with the official court forms that need to be filled out
http://www.hmcourts-service.gov.uk/H...children%20act
And a PRA form
http://www.hmcourts-service.gov.uk/c.../c(pra1)_e.pdf
Last edited by the_wave_rider; 30th December 2010 at 16:02.
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