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Thread: Parenting advice needed

  1. #1
    Full Member gibbon7000's Avatar
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    Default Parenting advice needed

    Ok, so here's the story.

    I have a daughter 30 months old, me and her mum seperated when she was born My name is not on the birth certificate. I have been paying maintence through personal agreement not the CSA.

    From the age of 13 months my daughter lived with grandparents in Poland but came back to the UK to be with her mum aged 26 months. In that time I went to visit her in Poland once and that was last xmas. I have been seeing her as and when i can since she has been back at least once a week, but the times and days have varried due to nothing been properly sorted between me and her mum. I want to sort something more permanant i.e set day and time each week so that there is continuity and both me and her know excatly where we stand.

    I work shifts 6am-2pm / 10pm-6am / 2pm-10pm rotating weekly, I sometimes have overtime which is in 4 hr blocks either before my shift or after my shift My ex works 8am to 6pm.

    So I suggested to her that I come on either sat/sun at 1pm for a minimum of 3hrs visiting.

    She has refused this, saying that she is busy with her study at weekends, to which i said well, i'll have to have her on my own, which she rejected as i'm not on the birth certificate and have no parental rights. So I have said to her that we'll have to go through the courts and let them make a decision for us since we cant agree.

    The thing is that I dont have a clue on where to start, does it all have to go through solicitors (which is gonna cost a fortune) or can i just apply to courts myself, not that i know how to do it. How can i go about getting my name on birth certificate.

    Has anyone been in the same situation that knows the 'ropes' so to speak

    All I want is to be a good dad to my daughter and to have regualr contact.

    My other car. 1972 1641cc slammed beetle. On the road finally!!

  2. #2
    Forum Moderator soulman's Avatar
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    Default

    I would certainly give C.A.B a call tomorrow .they should have some helpful imformation for you .

  3. #3
    Full Member spennny's Avatar
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    Stop the money, put it in a bank, and when she agrees to your terms give her the money

    Sorry but Ex's are the bain of my life, your correct, you dont have any rights , so if she doesnt agree do the above, she will soon come round,

    Kinda harsh i know but if she doesnt play ball, you have to do the same , no point her sitting back lapping it all up to suit her and you sitting their miserable !

  4. #4
    Full Member gibbon7000's Avatar
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    Default

    I know what your saying, but it's my daughter that misses out. She will only go to the CSA anyway. And if thats the case I still wont be any better off, worse I reckon as there would be a lot of bad feeling.

    Thanks Soulman, I always forget about CAB.

    My other car. 1972 1641cc slammed beetle. On the road finally!!

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    Full Member spennny's Avatar
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    Default

    Your daughter wont miss out, believe me, if she does go to the CSA then she will have to sort out a time that suits both of you and by the sounds of it , its her way or no way..... she might even be worse off with the money,

    And is she declaring your money , prob not,
    your name aint even on the certificate,

    Sorry am going into <RANT MODE>

  6. #6
    Full Member gibbon7000's Avatar
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    Default

    I thought CSA was only about maintenance not visiting rights etc.

    I duuno anything, i'm totally green about it all

    My other car. 1972 1641cc slammed beetle. On the road finally!!

  7. #7
    Regular Member Fruit'n'nut's Avatar
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    Default

    Find a local solicitor who deals in family law; most IME will at least offer an initial consultation for free.

    http://www.yell.com/ucs/UcsSearchAct...Results=&ssm=1

    Some hopefully useful info here too: http://www.family-lawfirm.co.uk/Arti...ty-rights.aspx if you follow some of the links in the text with regard to Parental Responsibility Agreements and so on.

    I can't offer any personal experience, but good luck.

  8. #8
    Regular Member Lee.J's Avatar
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    Is there anyway you could get a DNA test done to prove you are the Father?

    There are some solicitors out there that give the first appointment free this would give you an idea of cost.

    Hope you get it sorted.

    Lee

  9. #9
    Regular Member Fruit'n'nut's Avatar
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Lee.J View Post
    Is there anyway you could get a DNA test done to prove you are the Father?


    That's not really the issue AFAIK, it's simply that the father's name is not on the birth certificate, so as a consequence he is not legally recognised as having any rights.

  10. #10
    Full Member gibbon7000's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lee.J View Post
    Is there anyway you could get a DNA test done to prove you are the Father?

    There are some solicitors out there that give the first appointment free this would give you an idea of cost.

    Hope you get it sorted.

    Lee
    As said it's not the issue, the only reason she didnt put me on the birth certificate is cos she is Polish and if i'm on the certifiacte she would need my permission to leave the country with my daughter.

    I'm not saying that that is ok, but that was her reason.

    My other car. 1972 1641cc slammed beetle. On the road finally!!

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