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Thread: You Couldn't Make It Up If You Tried...

  1. #1
    Regular Member Jezzy's Avatar
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    Default You Couldn't Make It Up If You Tried...

    Out and about in my Signum this lunchtime, the temperature on the car's dash said -2 celcius, and it was snowing, so I was driving carefully. All of a sudden a Vec-B estate comes hurtling out of a side road from my left and cuts in front of me, requiring me to brake sharply to avoid hitting him. What a moron, I think to myself, you deserve a flash of my headlights. He reacts to that by giving me the finger, so I do the same to him. But it turns out that he can't take it as well as he can dish it out, as my gesture clearly upsets him and I can see him jumping around in his seat and waving his arms around in anger.

    A few hundred yards along and we come to a roundabout, and he does the predictable thing - jumps out of his car, comes over to mine and starts yelling at me "Whyyou****inggivemethefingerWhyyou****inggivemethe fingerWhyyou****inggivemethefinger!!!!!". "Because you drive like an idiot" I reply. Again being thoroughly predictable he starts trying to open my driver's door (like I'm going to leave it unlocked, you idiot) and when he can't open it he starts the "Come on then come on then!!" act.

    Now, I'm sure he's done this many times before, and he probably enjoys the reaction he usually gets, of people cowering down in the driver's seat and pleading with him to get back in his car and leave them alone. Well I don't do that - if I was going to do that, I wouldn't/shouldn't have flashed my lights at him in the first place. Maybe my lack of a panicked reaction surprises him and partly causes what he does next, I don't know, so your guess is as good as mine.

    I start to reach into my left inner breast pocket in my coat, intending to get my mobile out and record him doing his angry monkey act. At this point, I don't know if the act of filming him will make him worry about incriminating himself, or if it will come in handy in proving to the police that I was justified in beating seven bells out of him, if that's what it escalates to.

    The problem is, I'm wearing my winter coat, which I'm unfamiliar with, and it takes me a good 10 seconds of fumbling around inside my coat to locate the zip on the pocket where my phone is (not helped by the seatbelt pressing against it). Angrymonkeyman suddenly stops waving his arms about and stares at my arm which is still tucked inside my coat, and the look of anger on his face disappears and is replaced by what looks like fear. Then he runs back to his car (and I mean runs) and drives around the roundabout, and heads off back in the direction we've just come from. All this time I'm still sitting stationary, my hand still trying to unzip the inner breast pocket. His sudden departure puzzles me for a few seconds, before it dawns on me.....Ohhhhhhh.....he thought I was going to pull out a gun and shoot him.....pmsl. Like I said, you coudln't make it up if you tried.

  2. #2
    Regular Member Maverick's Avatar
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    That has really just made me laugh! What a knob if he thought you were reaching for a gun!

    He will probably go round to his mates now and say he had a gun pulled on him, but wasnt scared at all!

  3. #3
    Regular Member carlsondavid33's Avatar
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    lol love it

  4. #4
    Regular Member Jezzy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maverick View Post
    That has really just made me laugh! What a knob if he thought you were reaching for a gun!

    He will probably go round to his mates now and say he had a gun pulled on him, but wasnt scared at all!
    It'll be 5 blokes with Uzzis lol

  5. #5
    Regular Member DarylAAS's Avatar
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    Lmao Thats mint lol

  6. #6
    Regular Member Grumpy1954's Avatar
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    Vehicle : Ford Kuga

    Trim : Titanium

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    Default

    Pmsl. I had an idiot, years ago, I was with my ex and had 3 young children in car, come off a shop frontage pavement into the road in front of me, causing me to emergency stop. Not impressed so I tooted the horn. A few yards down the road was a roundabout, so he stopped shaprly, short of the roundabout and gave me the finger, so I tooted horn again - there was a small local Police Station off to the left, was hoping someone was home. Nope.
    I turned left at roundabout, her went round it, and came after me, obviously in a rage.
    He overtook several cars, completely on the wrong side of the road, past the Police Station, roared past me, and handbraked stopped diagonally ascross the road, Bodie and Doyle style. My ex was panicking as he got out, 6ft 6" of rage ridden muscleman, and demanded I do something.
    I did. I slowly trickled backwards as he stomped towards us, till he was a fair way away from his car, then drove round him and his car and left him there. Reported it but not enough info, didn't fancy stopping to get his number plate and ex hysterical , as usual when cool head required.

  7. #7
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    thats classic mate... Reminds of the scene in Mr Bean with his "finger" gun at the airport..

  8. #8
    Regular Member Derek Mc's Avatar
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    Absolutely Brilliant,
    As others have said by now the story will have developed in his own mind, to, you'll have been built like Arnold Schwartzeneger, been in a blacked out bullet proof pimp-mobile S class, and been extracting a semi-automatic RPG flamethrowing pistol while guiding in a surface to air missile carrying Mig!

  9. #9
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    Default

    pmsl @ his thread, cheered me up no end!

  10. #10
    Ex Vec-C Admin Deztroyer's Avatar
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    jezzy - dont be suprised if you later get tugged by an A.R.V. = sounds like the sort of loony that would report you to the police for actually waving a gun at him

    0-Large smile ......every time it's driven

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