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Thread: Australian Army

  1. #1
    Regular Member bruceybonus's Avatar
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    Default Australian Army

    Text of a letter from a kid from Eromanga to Mum and Dad. (For Those of
    you not in the know, Eromanga is a small town, west of Quilpie in the
    far south west of Queensland Australia)

    Dear Mum & Dad,

    I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that
    the Army is better than workin' on the farm - tell them to get in bl00dy
    quick smart before the jobs are all gone! I wuz a bit slow in settling
    down at first, because ya don't hafta get outta bed until 6am. But I
    like sleeping in now, cuz all yagotta do before brekky is make ya bed
    and shine ya boots and clean ya uniform. No bl00dy cows to milk, no
    calves to feed, no feed to stack - nothin'!! Ya haz gotta shave though,
    but its not so bad, coz there's lotsa hot water and even a light to see
    what ya doing!

    At brekky ya get cereal, fruit and eggs but there's no kangaroo steaks
    or possum stew like wot Mum makes. You don't get fed again until noon
    and by that time all the city boys are knackered because we've been on a
    'route march' - geez its only just like walking to the windmill in the
    back paddock!!

    This one will kill me brothers Doug and Phil with laughter. I keep
    getting medals for shootin' - dunno why. The bullseye is as big as a
    bl00dy possum's bum and it don't move and it's not firing back at ya
    like the Johnsons did when our big scrubber bull got into their prize
    cows before the Ekka last year! All ya gotta do is make yourself
    comfortable and hit the target - it's a piece of P155!! You don't even
    load your own cartridges they comes in little boxes and ya don't have to
    steady yourself against the rollbar of the roo shooting truck when you
    reload!

    Sometimes ya gotta wrestle with the city boys and I gotta be real
    careful coz they break easy - it's not like fighting with Doug and Phil
    and Jack and Boori and Steve and Muzza all at once like we do at home
    after the muster.

    Turns out I'm not a bad boxer either and it looks like I'm the best the
    platoon's got, and I've only been beaten by this one bloke from the
    Engineers - he's 6 foot 5 and 15 stone and three pick handles across the
    shoulders and as ya know I'm only 5 foot 7 and eight stone wringin'
    wet,but I fought him till the other blokes carried me off to the boozer.

    I can't complain about the Army - tell the boys to get in quick before
    word gets around how bl00dy good it is.

    Your loving daughter,

    Sheila

  2. #2
    Regular Member Ride-On!'s Avatar
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  3. #3
    Regular Member Gsi3.2's Avatar
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    Quality..

  4. #4
    Regular Member ion's Avatar
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    Classic lol

  5. #5
    Regular Member Spikey©'s Avatar
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    Class

  6. #6
    Full Member VectraMat's Avatar
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    as above, good 1 matey!

    VXR Gone - Now in BMW 320cd M Sport Convertible

  7. #7
    Regular Member Ian's Avatar
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    very good, honestly didnt see the punch line comming!

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