A mortician was working late as he examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a startling discovery. Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever seen! "I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz," mumbled the mortician to the corpse, "But I can't allow you to be cremated with such an impressive private part. It must be saved for posterity." He removed it, put it in a jar of formaldehyde, and took it home. "I have to show you something you won't believe," he said to his wife, holding up the jar. "My God!" the wife exclaimed, "Schwartz is dead !"