My wife left me...I don't understand why.
After the last child was born, she told me we had to cut back on expenses. I had to give up drinking beer so I gave it up. The other day, when she came home from shopping, I noticed that the receipt included £40 in makeup. I said, "Wait a minute I've given up beer and you haven't given up anything!" She said, "I buy that make-up so I can look pretty for you."
I told her, "That's what the beer was for!"
I don't think she'll be back