Every time I go into a supermakrket, it amazes me the way people just dither about. Aimlessly meandering, looking for some form of inspiration as to what they want for tea tonight, or happily abandoning trolleys in the middle of an aisle as you try to get down, or totally ignoring / blanking you when they're needlessly blocking your path. And the amount of parents who treat the whole God forsaken experience as a family outing! What is wrong with these people???!!! Bluddy kids running up and down the place screaming and yelling at each other, while beating anyone nearby with a french loaf! The parents just stand, hand on hip, looking over their shoulder saying in the most pathetic of tones " Tabitha, put that back please, stop hitting Bertie with that bread".
I have Some solutions.
1. Make every odd hour 'Decisive Hour'. Anyone who doesn't know what they want or need, Pi$$ off and let those of us who do get on with it. Come back when it's your turn. It could be governed in a similar way to swimming pools, with coloured wrist bands.
2. Ban Kids. Why oh why do you need to have the whole family with you? If you have to take the Kids, One adult of the party should be totally and completely responsible for them. If they fail in their responsibilities, they should be removed by security, along with aforementioned brats.
3. Floor markings like roads. A simple white line system. If you are stopping to browse or get something from a shelf, pull over to the left or right, and take the trolley with you! Let every other poor bu66er in the store get by!
4. One way System. Simple. Like Dodgems. Everyone has to go around the store one way.
5. Certificate of Trolley Competence. Never mind a pound coin to release a trolley, everyone who needs a trolley should have to use a token, which is only given to people who have passed a two part test on trolley control, aisle courtesy and decisiveness. There should also be some form of IQ test before you are allowed the token. This would in one fell swoop, cut the amount of ankle bashing incidents and rows.
I hate going to supermarkets. The only one I like going to is the one my Sister in law to be works at. This is because she knows what time I am coming, knows how long I'll be, and when I get to the front of the shop, she opens a checkout for me to go to. Sadly at the moment she is on maternity leave, so I have to take my chances with all the other 'happy shoppers'.
I hope Sharon gets better soon. I can't understand how she enjoys shopping.