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Thread: What's in a name !!

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    Default What's in a name !!

    I didn't make these up, honest .

    Aaron - ugly but hung like a horse, prone to belly button fluff.
    Able - totally useless.
    Adam - not very bright and not very pretty, has almost mastered hygiene.
    Adrian - usually short and very horny, watches cartoons.
    Alan - shy but sensitive, gets screwed over by women.
    Alex - cute and tall but a liar and a cheat.
    Alistair - likes being tied up, and really enjoys playing with train sets
    Amir - dirty, smelly, pecker is minuscule. Bad diet.
    Andrew - Highly intelligent and wears a kilt. Poor standards of hygiene. Homicidal tendencies.
    Antonio - has a great body and beautiful skin, and chicken brain. Looks in the mirror too much.
    Anthony - great guy and kind to all girls, smells of wee.
    Arnold - loser.
    Arthur - hung like a slave and celibate.
    Avenir - reads too many fantasy books, wears armour to bed.
    Baron - Reads SAS books, wants to go out and shoot something or somebody.
    Barry - lights fires, pinches girl's bottoms and is has a small pecker.
    Barnaby - very big, very strong and very gentle, cries a lot.
    Ben - funny and can be real difficult to beat at games.
    Bill - thinks he's really popular, thinks all the girls want him ...he's wrong.
    Bob - quiet and unpopular, eats with his hands.
    Brad - short and squat, has bad breath.
    Braden - Drop out and doesn't care, will set record for longest employee at McDonalds.
    Brandon - good looking but uses girls. Not very academic.
    Brendan - quiet and sweet, gets beaten up all the time.
    Brett - worldwide slut and really insensitive, women love him.
    Brian - mean and only thinks of himself, he's just a very naughty boy.
    Bryan - sexy, but stupid - can't spell.
    Bronsen - annoying and never grows up - has a stupid name.
    Bruce - stinks bad and thinks everyone else's name is also Bruce.
    Bryce - fun to be with and will make you laugh, you'll kill him within a week.
    Callum - tall and geeky, very defensive.
    Calvin - immature in a naive way, drives a Gemini.
    Cameron - Australian. Big muscles.
    Carl - horny. *******, who can't sing.
    Carlo - dark and brooding, for some unknown reason girls seem to like him!
    Carson - fun to be around and really sensitive.
    Chad - cute, sensitive and very studly - only found in American movies, no real person has that name.
    Charles - can't trust him, eyes too close together.
    Chris - can't pull, will pay for women, but has a huge pecker and can use it too.
    Christian - Gay but very sexy and seductive.
    Clark - hilarious and always in trouble, problem with 'jailbait'.
    Cliff - very sweet and adores girls, but very superficial.
    Clive - trainspotter ... dull as ditchwater.
    Cole - nice, funny, and very stupid.
    Colin - lies to women and blows up public buildings.
    Cory - funny but ugly, ends up running fashion magazines.
    Craig - tries to fit in - he never does.
    Crispin - Ugly homosexual. Fancies himself. Successful
    Curtis - needs constant mothering and reassurance.
    Damien - spawn of the devil, but in a good way.
    Damon - total loser in a sweaty sort of way.
    Dan - quiet but funny, but becomes easily addicted to narcotics.
    Danny - Wears stylish clothes and has silky womens underwear beneath them.
    Dane - weird but can hold together a conversation with a mermaid.
    Daniel - enjoys root vegetables in every orifice.
    Darren - charming , but sleeps with men.
    Darwyn - exercises too much, favourite word Ug
    Daryl - pompous and overbearing, likes using big words that only he understands.
    David - Sensible and works out a lot, loves girls named Florence.
    Dave - extremely sexy, always funny, intelligent, stylish, trendsetter i.e. a ******.
    Dean - full of himself and thinks with his dick.
    Dele - well endowed likes blondes. Looks in the mirror too much
    Dennis - either very nice to girls or a faggot.
    Derek - has a great sense of humour, and a blow-up doll collection.
    Dillon - Stupid but well-built, women just use him for sex.
    Dominic - hilarious and will do anything to please anybody.
    Don - dickhead, nobody likes him.
    Doug - has a greasy face, drinking problem and farts.
    Drew - bad-**** loser who never shuts up.
    Duncan - hopeless ski bum, brains shot away long ago.
    Dylan - thinks he's funny, falls asleep during sex.
    Dwayne - cool guy to be around if you can handle his name.
    Eddie - wants too many chicks he'll never get cos he's an ********.
    Elis - would rather make model airoplanes than have sex.
    Elliott - full of himself.
    Eric - shy and timid like a little mouse.
    Evan - a little slow but sweet, sexy, and a model mental patient.
    Finn - Completely indecisive, suffers terribly with Catholic guilt.
    Frank - single helix DNA and it shows.
    Fraser - sucks pigs dicks & swallows the lot.
    Frederick/Fred/Freddie - wants to rule the world. Loves women
    Fritz - Loves playing games. Never wins.
    Gareth - sweet but dresses too good to be straight. Can't play rugby.
    Gary - drug addict but willing to share.
    Garry - forever fiddling with himself and wonders why no-one will shake hands.
    Gavin - likes bondage, S&M with other men.
    Geoff - prefers golf to sex and war to peace.
    George - barman who drinks more than he serves.
    Gerry - quiet and insecure, a doormat.
    Gilbert - Morris dancer, collects antique sweet wrappers.
    Glen - the sweetest guy - really down to earth. good teacher. **** in bed.
    Gordon - big bloke in a dirty raincoat, kinda flashy.
    Graeme - very hard to understand, likes group sex.
    Graham - will screw anything.
    Grahame - thinks he's better than other Grahams because he has an extra 'e'.
    Grant - Short and ugly! but so sweet and you can talk to him about anything.
    Greg - really sweet and feels suicidally sorry for himself.
    Harry - Good at sport. Women love him. Blokes hate him.
    Harvey - cute, but addicted to sex and/or drugs.
    Haydn - tries hard, succeds rarely.
    Heinz - Likes variety in his life. in his fifties. Overweight.
    Henry - dull, dull, dull, dull ... likes trains and tweed jackets, probably a science teacher.
    Howard - likes small-breasted women and pornography.
    Howell - sings too much.
    Ian - likes to stuff animals and dress up in women's clothing.
    Ivor - militant psychopath with homosexual tendencies.
    Izzy - circumsized, but they threw away the wrong bit.
    Jake - shy and sweet but a slut when drunk.
    Jamie - is the worlds greatest, has no equals.
    James - can't handle his beer, smells of mayonaise and does wet farts.
    Jarrod - Arrogant, stuck-up, pompous and annoying. Loves himself totally
    and has lots of mirrors.
    Jason - Gayer than a pink fairy winning a trophy at the gayest pink fairy competition.
    Jay - very sweet when you get to know him well. which is a problem because
    he has bad breath.
    Jeff - really ugly.
    Jerome - gay, but very unhappy.
    Jeremy - loud and thinks that he's all that he says he is.
    Jesse - unpopular and needs to move on.
    Jack - stupid but hot, always alright.
    Jim - sweet, has fantasies of love and affection but wanks too much.
    Jimmy - Goes to the toilet twice a night, doesn't always get up for it.
    Joe - built like a bear, sexy but tends to lose his head. Bisexual
    Joel - ****.
    John - has few friends and no life - tends to kill small animals.
    Jon - Not too bright will end up married to a cousin.
    Jolyon - absolute raving homosexual.
    Jonathon - think he's good - he's ****. Looks in the mirrror too much.
    Jordan - sexy but weird in bed. Hung like a wildebeest.
    Jose - hot boy with a love of hermaphrodites.
    Josh - full of himself, fun.
    Julian - used to be a wooden boy, but is now almost real with a big nose.
    Junior - Not very clever, but good at football.
    Justin - aggravating but lovable, insecure but successful and overweight.
    Kain - one of the sexiest guys alive but very stuck up.
    Keegan - always has a bit of his last meal displayed on his clothes.
    Kev - lager lout, wears cheap and loud clothes.
    Kevin - always attracts really fit girlfriends and then loses them when they see his dick!
    Keith - good person to talk to when you have a problem - his is worse.
    Kenneth - very, very...anything you want him to be.
    Kerry - wants to be in a boy band but he's not pretty enough.
    Kirk - good looking, worries that he might be gay.
    Kurt - can kick anyone's ****.
    Kyle - hornball who eats too many cornchips.
    Larry - cute but wannabe player with big ****.
    Laurey - short and funny looking.
    Lee - girl dressed up as a boy, total **** bandit.
    Levi - same as Lee only not so pretty.
    Lewis - lonely, sad git, bit of a ******. Welsh
    Liam - loud mouthed ********.
    Lorenzo - fine and dresses in stolen gold.
    Lucas - fat loser that dates other men.
    Luke - seems to be sweet.
    Madison - so far up his own **** there's no room for his boyfriend.
    Malcolm - tall man who tends to lose his trousers. And is gay!!!
    Mark - Good looking and very clever. Every woman would if she could.
    Marshall - Never seems to age, this is because he is in fact an anderoid!
    Martin - Stud. Loves himself. would make a good lawyer.
    Matt - the fat boy of the class, likes sweets and is full of ****.
    Matty - Life and soul of the party, could get a corpse dancing.
    Menno - built like a horse. Only does it doggy.
    Michael - very good looking but he'll do anything for a girl. Doesn't like
    to work too hard. Sexual deviant
    Mick - always drunk, tendency for drug abuse.
    Mintesh - boy racer, the ******** who drives with the stereo too loud and
    the windows down even though it's cold!
    Mitchell - big bloke, sweats a lot, usually pure alcohol.
    Murray - small *****, but still really enjoys playing with it.
    Nathan - stupid as hell, and tends to make others feel dumb.
    Nick - inbred - can't get past the missionary position though.
    Neil - sweet and will do anything in this world for you, great in bed but
    only on his own.
    Noel - only goes out with girls so that he can steal their clothes.
    Oliver - likes men but is in denial.
    Oscar - complete loser, hated by his parents.
    Owen - cute gay guy who is immature, and sings Welsh songs.
    Patrick - drunk, drunk, drunk.
    Paul - cool, calm and handsome, a quality only found in gays.
    Peter - Likes sheep more than girls, will probably end up married to a relative.
    Phillip - homophobic, image conscious ****, likes to f*** poodles.
    Ramsey - thinks he's posh but is actually a knob.
    Raymond - doesn't like to be called Ray because it sounds too 'straight'.
    Richard - can't see his feet as balls are too big
    Ricky - ugly ****head who everybody hates.
    Rikki - see above, but can't even spell.
    Rod - constantly watches porn.
    Robin - Ugly and not very bright, probably a teacher.
    Roger - acts like a ****** when drunk ... Permanently drunk!
    Rory - men are only nice to him so they can talk to his sister.
    Roy - total loser and computer genius.
    Rupert - arrogant **** who is **** in bed but thinks he is a stud.
    Russell - likes to play in the leaves which makes him an ********. Pantomime dame
    Ryan - short and stout, but popular.
    Sam - wannabe sex machine.
    Sandeep - complete anorak, owns a metal detector.
    Sean - thinks he's James Bond, in reality a dipstick but is well hung.
    Scott - has serious disabilities. likes winter sports
    Seth - so sweet to other people but is a traitor.
    Shane - cute gay guy who is immature, and sings Welsh songs.
    Shannon - like the, river wet and full of ****.
    Shaun - bit of a hard *******, thinks women love him.
    Simon - likes a night out with the lads and curries. Talks ********.
    Sonny - thinks he's tough and proves it with young girls and boys.
    Spencer - thinks everybody wants to **** him - he's a virgin
    Steve - popular and funny when looked at side-on.
    Stuart - loves it right up there, normally with a toilet roll and a hamster
    Taylor - Gay, gay, gay, gay ....
    Terry - small and wirey with a nasty temper.
    Tim - hot but a bit strange, can never tell where he is.
    Toby - best blow ever.
    Tom - cool but can be very arrogant.
    Tomas - part-druid, likes to dance round things naked.
    Tony - hot, sweet, and totally fun to be around. tendency to megalomania
    Travis - fat and horny with the best XXX collection to be found.
    Trevor - sweet and funny but sometimes untrustworthy.
    Troy - cute and popular.
    Tyrone - Big bloke with a gay moustache, but nobody dares tell him.
    Ty - small and kind of shrivelled.
    Var - adventurous type, can't sit quietly and so is very annoying.
    Wade - huge bloke, people jog round him and have to stop halfway for a rest.
    Walter - Rich, but with no taste in anything, so the money is a bit of a waste.
    Wasim - Good at sport. Likes bondage. Intelligent.
    Warren - cool, homosexual guy. Picks his nose alot.
    Wesley - great guy and easy to not notice.
    Will - wishes he were popular.
    William - not very tall, but ultra-cool.
    Zach - sweet and polite and twisted.
    Zahid - devious and sly. Not to be trusted.*

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------- -----

    The Women's Names

    Abby - agony aunt, always willing to explain about your confused sexuallity.
    Ada - blue haired, smells of wee.
    Adie - quiet and shy, but when you get to know her .. quiet and shy.
    Aileen - laughs like a demented dog. likes tic tacs.
    Alana - pretty and popular, but with very dark secrets.
    Alexandra - popular but very loud, sometimes forgets to bathe.
    Alice - likes horses but looks like Kermit's girlfriend.
    Alicia - pretty and knows it, watches herslf go by in shop windows.
    Alison - bra and pants are the same garment, looks better with the light off.
    Alyssa - wants to be 'exotic', but only manages to be 'strange'.
    Amanda - I.Q. smaller than her bra size, a good ****, but she does practice a lot.
    Amber - stereotypical exotic dancer, not too bright but very flexible.
    Amy - Devious, Likes being on top, never stays the night - Not to be trusted. Likes any man not wearing trousers
    Anastasia - overly-loud, wears clothes 2 sizes too small.
    Andrea - Small breasts, small ****, drinks pints and plays a mean game of pool.
    Andrina - dark and sultry, pretends she's a Russian spy.
    Angela - Vain, Hair style more important than oxygen. Usually found hanging around toilets.
    Anita - Beautiful girl with perfect hair and a body to die for.
    Annabelle - Doesn't wear knickers.
    Annette - She's BIG, like really BIG!!.
    Anne - Looks like a horse, can't drive.
    Anne-Marie - Gorgeous and with a great taste in blokes, has perfectly
    formed breasts
    Annie - Drinks too much, always wakes up next to ugly guys.
    Ashlee - Dyslexic and spends all day thinking about secs.
    Aurora - Beautiful and sexy, every mans dream ,but sadly swings the other way.
    Azaria - Beautiful and exotic with the brain power of an orchid.
    Barbara - ****s like a rabbit, not fussy about appearance. Wears alot of make up
    Bea - Beautiful, sexy, original, but nearly impossible to satisfy in bed.
    Becky - one of the boys, knows about football and cars, unusually tall.
    Belinda - Pleasing on the eye, usually has a couple of good points.
    Beryl - Repressed alcoholic.
    Beth - Empty headed, big breasted, and easy.
    Bettina - Dominatrix.
    Beverley - Trapped in an eighties timewarp.
    Bianca - Ginger. big mouth.
    Birgit - big scarey woman, likes small blokes she can intimidate.
    Bridgette - Eats pizzas all day, smokes cigars.
    Britney - Falsely improved, no use to society.
    Cait - Bow-legged country girl, really loves her horses.
    Camilla - replaces the word 'yes' with 'ya'.
    Cara - lazy girl, eats too much junk-food and yet doesn't get fat - annoying.
    Carie - just like the movie, a scary freak.
    Carina - Looks like the back of a bus, doesn't swallow.
    Carla - Down to earth with good child-bearing hips.
    Carly - Party animal until she gets too drunk to stand up.
    Carol - Bubbly, life and soul of the party and the bedroom.
    Caroline - Lard ****, shaves her ears, picks her nose and shops at oxfam.
    Catherine - Attracted to the older man, needs ironing.
    Celine - Emits hideous noises, waste of DNA.
    Charlotte - Enjoys tea and cake, farts the national anthem.
    Chaz - life and soul of the party, plays the piano and then strips to her own music.
    Cheryl - Can fit hand in mouth, eats glass.
    Chloe - Usually a weather-girl or a failed wannabe weather-girl.
    Christine - Likes men in uniform, never warm.
    Christina - Drop dead gorgeous and with a different bloke each night, well practiced.
    Ciji - strange girl, sleeps with a vibrating teddy-bear.
    Claire/Clare/Clair - Usually neurotic, gives good head but can have lesbian tendencies.
    Courtney - Bit of a 'tomboy', rolls her own tampons.
    Daisy - Virgin, works on a farm because she likes the way the tractor vibrates.
    Danni - Should make nice threesome with sibling.
    Davina - drug induced mental damage, should shave her neck.
    Dawn - Gets up early, smells of chips.
    Debra/Debby - Porn star.
    Deborah - Bites the pillow, uses both hands.
    Dee - Enormous mouth, gets a lot of work in porn movies.
    DeeDee - cannot understand why no-one else masturbates in Ikea.
    Denise - Sits on cats eyes, wears too much make up.
    Di - Enjoys receiving oral sex, but doesn't like giving it.
    Diana - Cuddly, which is a shame because she smells like cheese.
    Diane - Enjoys company of animals. Deep as a puddle.
    Donna - 70's throw back, likes cabbage.
    Dorthe - smells of herrings, obsessed with over-sized sex toys.
    Elaine - Rides side saddle, drinks meths. average breasts.. likes sharp edges.
    Eleanor - Very posh, always washing her hands, but likes her sex dirty.
    Elizabeth - Born to perform, hates chickens.
    Ella - Fiery temper, but when she's not shouting she's as cute as a kitten.
    Ellie - Far too attractive for the swear words that come out of her mouth.
    Ellen - Could well have eaten all the pies.
    Elma - Shy, easily dominated by men.
    Elsa - Kind of old fashioned, but with beautiful big hair.
    Emily - Wears odd socks, can have lesbian tendencies.
    Emma - Gullible and easily swayed by a good looker!
    Erminia - Small and graceful, slightly psychotic.
    Estelle - Likes wombles, eats grass.
    Esther - Plump with sagging breasts, normally heavily tattooed.
    Eve - Shy timid creature until she has a drink, then she becomes very loud.
    Evonne - Much happier now that the sex change operation was a success.
    Faith - Legs meet at knees, can't **** standing up.
    Faye - Wears wellies, can't swim.
    Felicity - One of the boys .. except that she has the most enormous nipples.
    Fern - Posh with a large mouth, can hold a conversation whilst giving head.
    Fiona - Female mud wrestler, badly needs a shave.
    Fiyza - Very sexy, she knows it and she flaunts it
    Francess - A lovely lady even if she is as common as muck!
    Frankie - Wears leather underwear, if it's quiet you can hear her buzzing.
    Gabriel - An **** to die for but pads her bra with tissues.
    Gail - Farts a lot, drinks Guinness.
    Gayleen - Big tall woman who talks ****e all day.
    Gaynor - Wanna-be Lesbian who can't pull the girls.
    Gemma - Talks too much, even during sex, even during oral sex!
    Geraldine - Too posh for her own good, likes flying.
    Gillian - Dyes her hair green, likes clubbing.
    Gina - Eternal mother, eats nappies.
    Glenda - Eats children, hates smoking.
    Georgia - Loves her cakes, would rather have gateau than sex.
    Georgina - Wants to be a man.
    Grace - petite and pretty, ****s like a rabbit.
    Grainne - Giggles excessively, sometimes wets herself.
    Gwyneth - Blubs a lot, wees in the bath.
    Hannah - Needs to be naked at all times, eats kebabs.
    Harriet - Wears tweed and green wellies to the pub.
    Hayley - Pretty, likes fast cars and slow men.
    Heather - ****s like a freight train, bit of a screamer.
    Helen - Hangs around with the wrong rowd, Kinky in bed, loves porn and is totally neurotic.
    Helena - Likes to be in charge, wears a lot of black rubber.
    Heidi - The hills are alive with the sound of music, likes gherkins, hates ****s.
    Hilary - Frigid.
    Holly - Prickly to the touch, seasonal ****meister.
    Imogen - Drinks tequila from the bottle, wets the bed.
    Ingrid - Right wing **** tendencies, never smiles.
    Isobel - Motorbike gang leader, sells guns for pocket money.
    Jackie - Heroin addict, sold her child.
    Jacqueline - Sex addict likes younger men or one that can dominate her
    Jade - I once had a Jade,but hasn't everybody??
    Jalaine - Strange, introverted girl, secretly into plastic model aeroplanes.
    Janet - Massive over bite,no neck.
    Jane - She's hot and she knows it, a *****-teaser.
    Janice - Loud and over-the-top, tends to talk with her hands.
    Jarla - Kinda like a female Ali-G only not as funny.
    Jasmin - Smells of sewers, eats the heads off rats.
    Jean - hangs around with old blokes and let's them buy her stuff.
    Jemma - Does anal, wears too much eye make-up.
    Jenni - bone idle hence the tendency to shorten long words.
    Jennifer - Huge breasts, should shave her legs more often.
    Jessica - Always ****s on the first date and sometimes even before it.
    Joanna - Moans in her sleep, moans when she wakes up, can't cook.
    Jo - Bisexual and proud of it.
    Joelle - Lively, exciting, jolly and fun ... sometimes too much so!
    Josephine - Likes to be tied up and teased.
    Jody - Dresses like a boy and eats live frogs for breakfast.
    Joyce - Never stops talking ... for God's sake shut up woman!
    Judith - Big eyes, big tits, big problem with ballance.
    Judy - Huge tits, married to a retard.
    Julia - Innocent face, don't trust her, she'll steal your wallet in five minutes
    Juliet - Eats too many chips, has greasy hair and a hairy ****.
    Justine - Massive tits, likes hanging around men's toilets.
    Julie - Likes outdoor sex, preferably with a chance of getting caught.
    Kacie - cute and adorable, but prone to sulking.
    Karen - Huge tits, ****s like a rabbit.
    Kate - kisses with her tongue and can hold a conversation whilst doing it.
    Katherine - old-fashioned girl, giggles when anyone mentions naughty words.
    Katey - Tom boy, likes her sex dirty, usually outdoors.
    Katie - likes blokes and team sports, preferably both together.
    Kayleigh - The Lara Croft of Essex, great in bed (practice makes perfect)
    Keira - person most likely to start a cult, related to Starlin.
    Kelly - smells of cheese, slobbers when kissing.
    Kelley - not very bright, can't spell Kelly.
    Kelsey - Very clever, wears glasses, boys scare her.
    Kerran - tries to be mysterious, but everyone has been there.
    Kerry - pretty, cute, and changes underwear once a week.
    Kiersten - very sexy to look at, hard to please in bed.
    Kimberley - wants to be a bloke, drinks like a bloke, farts like a bloke, wears a wig.
    Kirsty - Eats live moles, can't dance.
    Krista - Cool and pretty, tends to daydream all day and sleepwalk all night.
    Kristy - Shy until she gets drunk, prone to spots.
    Kristen - Emotionally stunted, thinks Robot-Wars is cruel and should be banned.
    Kylie - Can't sing but who cares ... lovely ****.
    Lana - Hated by her parents, accidental pregnancy.
    Lara - Action packed, never seen naked.
    Laura - Likes Max power magazine, can't drive. Dominatrix
    Lauren - Pert breasts, seldom ventures out at night.
    Leah - Likes outdoor sex, wees standing up.
    Leanne - eats a lot of raw meat, most guys are scared of her.
    Lena - Eats food then throws up, rapidly shrinking.
    Leonie - Tall girl who likes short boys, it's a power thing.
    Leslie - Likes bondage, hates men.
    Leyla - Hot and horny, the girl that always will.
    Lily - Makes a good friend, doesn't take **** from anyone.
    Linda - Teenage bride can swallow oranges whole.
    Lindy - Likes doggy style, doesn't do housework.
    Lisa - Will take all your money and run, gets turned on by porn.
    Liz - Long legged and brainy.
    Lizbeth - Sensible and serious, can talk without moving her lips.
    Lorraine - Constantly whinges, will strip for a packet of jellybabies
    Lorrie - Named after the vehicle she weighs the same as.
    Louise/a - Likes to get around, fantastic breasts.
    Luci - cute and loveable
    Lucy - Strange dancer, wants to marry her dad.
    Lynn - Funny and sexy, everything a bloke wants in a woman.
    Lynnette - Has the attention span of a budgerigar, likes pretty things.
    Madeline - Drives like a bloke, likes tractors.
    Madusa - Really likes men, preferrably grilled with a side salad.
    Maggie - Trainspotter, likes plaid.
    Mairi - Quiet and shy but incredibly clever, secretly planning to take over the world.
    Mandy - Cute and cuddly, thick as a short plank.
    Margaret - Lovely mother, very generous.
    Maria - Bangs like a barn door.
    Marie - Life sapping dominatrix. Likes men to do DIY.
    Marina - No get up and go, rusty underwear.
    Marion - stuffs her bra with tissue, a bit cross-eyed.
    Marolyn - Eats like a horse, out stays her welcome.
    Martina - Ugly lesbian.
    Martine - Can't act, can't sing, nice tits.
    Mary - Likes men with long tongues and talented fingers.
    Matilda - Likes dancing, mainly the waltz.
    Mavis - seems nice until you notice the black cat, broomstick and pointed hat.
    Meg - Cheesy smell, should be spelt with an S.
    Megan - Cold, hard-hearted *****, enjoys upsetting little children.
    Melanie - Can hold 2 bar vacuum orally indefinitely.
    Melinda - Trailer trash ... pretty, plump, and infected.
    Melissa - Eats dogs, has been in prison 6 times for burglary.
    Meryl - Dances like an ape, doesn't realise.
    Michaela - Likes animals, should make a video with them.
    Michelle - Wears white stilettos, dances round her handbag.
    Marsha - Big butt, small brain.
    Molly - Pretty and naive, would like to be slimmer, wears clothes with too many flowers.
    Monica - Doesn't swallow, should have.
    Nadine - Stunt Lady, can drink any bloke under the table! Don't mess with her.
    Naomi - Wannabe diva, more of a diver.
    Nancy - White hair, remembers tanners.
    Narelle - Likes dressing up as a French maid but not French.
    Natalie - Eats with her mouth open, farts the Nokia phone tune.
    Natasha - Had seven kids before age 17, needs ironing.
    Nell - Hasn't realised WWII has ended, lives in Kent.
    Niamh - Quiet and cute, secretly wears mens under-wear.
    Nicci - Pretty, blonde, nicely dressed and vacant.
    Nichola - quiet, studious type, wears glasses, a tiger in bed.
    Nicola - Slapper, alcoholic in denial.
    Nicole - small sweet and with nice hair, should wear underwear more often.
    Niki - wannabe mysterious spy but not bright enough.
    Nina - Stuffs her bra with tissues, been single for years.
    Nissa - speach impediment causes her to hiss, fond of reptiles.
    Olga - You can park a bike in her **** crack, excessive facial hair.
    Olive - usually accompanied by a couple of people in white coats.
    Olivia - Gorgeous and knows it, has to sew herself into her trousers..
    Olwyn - stupid name, welsh, just unlucky I guess.
    Pamela - Gives amazing head, made of plastic.
    Patricia - Obsessive about appearances, yet denies that she's shallow.
    Pat - short and common, one of the lads and a bit of a laff.
    Paula - Transvestite merchant banker from Basildon.
    Peggy - Wears outdated clothes and will only do missionary position.
    Penelope - Pitstop queen, likes her men to be stiff.
    Peta - Rough and tough, seriously into bondage.
    Phillippa - Forest forager, likes wild boar.
    Phyliss - Thinks sex is dirty, always washing her hands.
    Polly - nice girl with really bad dress-sense, fashion disaster, it's a shame.
    Priscilla - likes painting with oils, Duckhams mainly.
    Preya - can't cook or clean but good in bed.
    Prudence - sensible girl, wears flat shoes, but will **** anything in trousers.
    Rachel - Amazing gravity defying breasts, can grip a tenner in her arsecheeks.
    Rebecca - Hairy armpits, orgasms without contact.
    Rebekah - Not very bright, pretty, but sometimes forgets to bathe.
    Renee - Huge breasts, but wishes blokes would notice her mind.
    Romany - Wild and beautiful, swings both ways.
    Rosalind - Upper-class lady but works as a secret agent when the government needs her.
    Rose - Can be prickly, gives good head.
    Rosemary - Very shy, nearly always seen with a bright red face.
    Roz - Only enjoys sex when she's tied up and spanked first.
    Rula - She measures up well.
    Ruth - Has stretch marks around her mouth.
    Sadie - Stand up if you're slim, please stand up.
    Sally - Drives a Mustang, fights in pubs.
    Samantha - Loves her brother, has 4 deformed children.
    Sandra - ****s donkeys for fun, bow legged.
    Sara - Air-head, with a gorgeous body to compensate.
    Sarah - intelligent, funny and very talented when it comes to the naughty stuff.
    Sarah-Jane - 'posh' girl, will screw anything in a BMW.
    Sasha - Looks dreadful the morning after. Smokes cigars
    Selina - Doesn't wear pants, heavy laundry bills.
    Shannon - Beautiful, curvaceous, should be a model.
    Sharon - The original ***** queen, uses everyone she meets.
    Shauna - Lives in a trailer, has 16 kids each with a different surname.
    Shelly - very cute, but a bit of a soft-hearted slapper.
    Sheree - Cute, but very loud! desperately needs a volume control.
    Shirley - Can swallow a Curly Whirly whole, likes bananas.
    Shona - Librarian by day, exotic dancer by night.
    Sinead - Wears big knickers and a vest, but is secretly very sexual.
    Sian - Does mean sheep impression, hates mint sauce.
    Silka - Appears shy, but secretly Miss Whiplash the dominatrix.
    Silke - Only ever has sex outdoors near her favourite tree.
    Simone - Used to be a shotputter from Cardiff.
    Sonya - intelligent, funny and very talented when it comes to the naughty stuff.
    Sophia - Beautiful girl with long legs, a shame her **** is the size of a small country.
    Sophie - Brothel manager because she's too ugly to be a working girl.
    Stacey - Likes cut off jeans and arseless Speedo's.
    Steffi - Closet lesbian, maintains heterosexual relationship for effect.
    Stella - reassuringly expensive, she's worth every penny!
    Stephanie - wears flowers in her hair, a pretty dress, and no knickers.
    Sue/Susanne - should shave more often, wears Denim aftershave. Very fertile.
    Summer - Eats Muppets, wears Brogues.
    Sylvia - loves the outdoors. Mad.
    Tammy - Kind-hearted and generous, particularly in the bedroom.
    Tanya - Hot minx, too short.
    Tara - Upper class slapper, enjoys ranom chemicals.
    Teresa - surprisingly small given the amount of alcohol she drinks.
    Tina - Face like a smacked ****, should eat less.
    Tori - Lives in a hedge, can't water ski.
    Tracy - Easily swayed by alcohol. Mostly seen without underwear. Loves kittens.
    Tracey - Lesbian.
    Ursula - Likes puppies,usually in a hot curry.
    Val - usually drunk, doesn't know where her knickers are.
    Valerie - quaint and old-fashioned, someones aunt.
    Vanessa - Beautiful, power-crazy *****.
    Veronica - closet lesbian who sleeps around to prove she isn't!
    Vicki - Likes Yoga. And Women.
    Vikki - Drinks anything so long as it's got vodka in it.
    Wendy - Possibly a man.
    Zakia - Wants to be a spy when she grows up, but needs to wash more often.
    Zoe - Talentless rock chick. Prepared to use sex as a weapon

  2. #2
    Regular Member jonno_07's Avatar
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    oh, duncan spikey and mrs gsi are not going to be happy to name a few

  3. #3
    Regular Member jonno_07's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SCOTTEX
    Jon - Not too bright will end up married to a cousin.
    as for that! i don't think i did

  4. #4
    Regular Member
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    The Blackburn End
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    I found these on another forum, I'd thought I'd share them with you. Made me smile, anyway.

  5. #5
    Regular Member jonno_07's Avatar
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    some are very funny

  6. #6
    Administrator plasma's Avatar
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    Vehicle : Vectra

    Trim : SRi

    Engine : 150

    Year : 05

    Mileage : 74000


    Dean - full of himself and thinks with his dick

  7. #7
    Ex Vec-C Admin / Founder Duncan's Avatar
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    East Sussex
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    Quote Originally Posted by SCOTTEX
    Duncan - hopeless ski bum, brains shot away long ago.
    Aaah - that explains a lot!!! Although I've never been skiing in my life!!

    Mrs Duncan will be pleased......
    Quote Originally Posted by SCOTTEX
    Jane - She's hot and she knows it, a *****-teaser.
    - well I think she's hot and, erm, well I won't elaborate on the teasing bit!!


  8. #8
    Ex-Staff Full Member Ian T's Avatar
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    Skynet HQ EMEC#5
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    Quote Originally Posted by SCOTTEX
    Ian - likes to stuff animals and dress up in women's clothing.
    Who found out!

  9. #9
    Regular Member
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    Leighton Buzzard
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    Quote Originally Posted by SCOTTEX
    Mark - Good looking and very clever. Every woman would if she could.

    Quote Originally Posted by SCOTTEX
    Cara - lazy girl, eats too much junk-food and yet doesn't get fat - annoying.
    I wish

  10. #10
    Regular Member Green Growler's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SCOTTEX
    Martin - Stud. Loves himself. would make a good lawyer.

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