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Thread: English Jokes

  1. #1
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    Default English Jokes

    A farmer in Devon has made history by growing a field of dildos! Unfortunately he's had a lot of trouble with squatters!

    85% of males from Liverpool say they enjoy sex in the shower........ The other 15% haven't been to prison yet

    *******s! Just been thrown out & barred from the local swimming baths because I had my Speedo trunks on! What I didn't know was the 'S' had come off the logo!!

    I've just been to my first Muslim birthday party! Musical chairs was a bit slow but pass the parcel was fast!

    Paddy weighs 20st, so his doctor puts him on a diet. 'I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day and repeat this for 2 weeks, you should loose 5lbs.' When Paddy returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost 4st. 'That’s amazing the doc said'...Paddy nodded...'I'll tell you be Jesus, I taut I was gonna drop dead by da 3rd day.' 'What from hunger said the doc?'...'No from the f******g skipping!'

    THE BBC HAVE SAID THAT BLACK AND ASIANS ARE NOT REPRESENTED ENOUGH ON TV SO THEY'RE PUTTING CRIMEWATCH ON TWICE A WEEK.

    AND FINALLY


    The organisers of a charity pancake competition are wondering if Gordon Brown is available to come to a pancake flipping competition on Shrove Tuesday? They have the pans and the ingredients……. they just need a ******)


  2. #2
    Regular Member dannyjpuk's Avatar
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    lol like it

  3. #3
    Full Member Big Sig's Avatar
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    Default

    Field Trial of GM potatoes begins.

    Not eating those things, have you driven their cars!
    Now I need a turbo to keep up!

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