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Thread: Spam?

  1. #1
    Regular Member marichrd's Avatar
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    Default Spam?

    The Spam Sketch from the second series of "Monty Python's Flying Circus" and"Monty Python's Previous Record" (Spam = Spiced Pork And Ham, a sort of cheap luncheon meat)
    Scene: A cafe. One table is occupied by a group of Vikings with horned helmets on. A man and his wife enter.

    Man (Eric Idle): You sit here, dear.

    Wife (Graham Chapman in drag): All right.

    Man (to Waitress): Morning!Waitress (Terry Jones, in drag as a bit of a rat-bag): Morning!

    Man: Well, what've you got?

    Waitress: Well, there's egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and spam; egg bacon and spam; egg bacon sausage and spam; spam bacon sausage and spam; spam egg spam spam bacon and spam; spam sausage spam spam bacon spam tomato and spam;

    Vikings (starting to chant): Spam spam spam spam...

    Waitress: ...spam spam spam egg and spam; spam spam spam spam spam spam baked beans spam spam spam...

    Vikings (singing): Spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam!

    Waitress: ...or Lobster Thermidor a Crevette with a mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and spam.Wife: Have you got anything without spam?

    Waitress: Well, there's spam egg sausage and spam, that's not got much spam in it.

    Wife: I don't want ANY spam!

    Man: Why can't she have egg bacon spam and sausage?

    Wife: THAT'S got spam in it!

    Man: Hasn't got as much spam in it as spam egg sausage and spam, has it?

    Vikings: Spam spam spam spam (crescendo through next few lines)

    Wife: Could you do the egg bacon spam and sausage without the spam then?

    Waitress: Urgghh!

    Wife: What do you mean 'Urgghh'? I don't like spam!

    Vikings: Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!)

    Waitress: Shut up!

    Vikings: Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!

    Waitress: Shut up! (Vikings stop) ****** Vikings! You can't have egg bacon spam and sausage without the spam.

    Wife (shrieks): I don't like spam!Man: Sshh, dear, don't cause a fuss. I'll have your spam. I love it. I'm having spam spam spam spam spam spam spam beaked beans spam spam spam and spam!

    Vikings (singing): Spam spam spam spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!

    Waitress: Shut up!! Baked beans are off.

    Man: Well could I have her spam instead of the baked beans then?

    Waitress: You mean spam spam spam spam spam spam... (but it is too late and the Vikings drown her words)

    Vikings (singing elaborately): Spam spam spam spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful spam! Spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam. Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Spam spam spam spam!


  2. #2
    Ex Vec-C Admin / Founder Duncan's Avatar
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    Default

    Methinks this would be better suited in the Comedy & Humour section! Especially as it doesn't add to your post count!!

  3. #3
    Regular Member AndrewTi's Avatar
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  4. #4
    Regular Member marichrd's Avatar
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    who's counting - not me

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