:A businessman dies and goes to Heaven. St Peter comes over with his clipboard as he enters the Pearly gates and says, "we've got special instructions from The Boss for you. You weren't the best person on Earth, but you gave a lot to charity, so you get the choice of Heaven or Hell for the rest of eternity." "How does that work?", Asks our Hero. "Simple", says St Pete,"I take you to spend 24 hours in each place, then you decide. Where do you want to start?". "Hell, please", says our man. "OK", says Peter, and leads him into a lift that takes him down. And down. And down. Finally, the doors open, and he sees Hell looks a lot like California. Blue skies, sunshine and a great golf course, with some of his old friends already playing. He wanders over and joins them, has a great round before lunch, a great lunch with no bill, and another round after lunch. A slap up dinner, many drinks (without getting very drunk) and he goes off to bed in his luxury villa. He awakes the next morning without a hangover, has a sumptuous breakfast, and has time for 9 holes before St Peter comes to take him to heaven.
Up and up goes the lift, and he finds himself in Heaven. It's OK, but there's lots of sitting on clouds, harp lessons and singing.
After 24 hours, St Peter comes and asks for his decision. "Hell, please", he says, "much more fun." "Sure?" Asks Peter. "definitely", he says
Down and down they go, and finally the lift doors open on a blasted, black plain. The stink of sulphur is in the air, and a red, glowering sky hangs over ragged, weeping figures who are digging among the filth for the barest morsel of something to eat.
"What's this?", Says the businessman. "It wasn't like this yesterday"
"Ah", says St Peter. "Yesterday we were campaigning. Today, you've voted."