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Thread: One jar &,,

  1. #1
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    Exclamation One jar &,,

    Stuart wanted to buy a motorbike.
    He doesn't have much luck until one day, he comes across a Harley with a 'for sale' sign on it.

    The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is 10 years old.
    It is shiny and in absolute mint condition.

    He immediately buys it, and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years.

    'Well, it's quite simple, really,' says the seller, 'whenever the Bike is outside and it's gonna rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome.


    It protects it from the rain.'

    He hands Stuart a jar of Vaseline.

    That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her parents. Naturally, they take the bike there.

    But just before they enter the house, Sandra stops him and says, 'I have to tell you something about my family before we go in.'

    'When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the first person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes..'

    'No problem,' he says. And in they go.

    Stuart is shocked.


    Right smack in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes.

    In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes.


    Piled up on the stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes.

    They sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word.

    As dinner progresses, Stuart decides to take advantage of the situation.

    So he leans over and kisses Sandra.

    No one says a word.

    So he reaches over and fondles her breasts.

    Still, nobody says a word.

    So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off,


    throws her on the table, and screws her right there, in front of her parents.
    His girlfriend is a little flustered,
    her dad is obviously livid, and her mum horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word.

    He looks at her mum..

    'She's got a great body,' he thinks.


    So he grabs the mum, bends her over the dinner table, and has his way with her every which way right there on the dinner table.

    Now his girlfriend is furious and her dad is boiling, but still,


    Total Silence.

    All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain.

    Stuart remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket...





    Suddenly the father shouted....





    'I'll do the fuc*ing dishes!!!

  2. #2
    Ex-Staff Full Member Taffyopel's Avatar
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    Paul.


    Snowman, you got your ears on?

  3. #3
    Regular Member paz_badboy4life's Avatar
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    Vehicle : Vectra SRi Dual Fuel NAV

    Trim : PreFace SRi

    Engine : 1.8 LPG

    Year : 53

    Default


  4. #4
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    brilliant

  5. #5
    Regular Member jlock's Avatar
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    Vehicle : BMW 525i

    Trim : M-Sport

    Engine : 2.5l Straight 6


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    classic

  6. #6
    Regular Member gaz4d's Avatar
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    Ouch !!!

  7. #7
    Regular Member vauxhall-john's Avatar
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    superb....!

  8. #8
    Regular Member Danialj32's Avatar
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    Haha good'n!

  9. #9
    Regular Member ballan22direct's Avatar
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    top class

  10. #10
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    Alfie goes to the doctors and says 'Doc, I'm having trouble with my hearing. I keep missing things.' The doc says 'What are the symptoms ?' Alfie replies 'They're a cartoon family and they all have yellow faces.' The doc shakes his head. 'No no - I can see the problem here. You had trouble like this once before didn't you ? Which ear was it ?' Alfie thinks for a second or two and says '1997 !'

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